Purpose Project

S3E10: Take a Beat with Linda Wysocka

• Leslie Pagel • Season 3 • Episode 10

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0:00 | 47:15

Host Leslie Pagel welcomes Linda Wysocka, musical creator behind SouLara Rose and founder of Rebirth Rhythm, to discuss living “to the beat of your own drum” as a remembering of one’s true self through shedding conditioning, checking alignment in the body, and regulating the nervous system. Linda shares using somatic cues to make decisions, distinguishing intuition from nervous system activation, and practicing boundaries, saying no, and protecting time and energy. She recounts major losses during COVID, divorce, heart-opening healing, and releasing grief through her Rebirth Rhythm Method combining music, movement, and breath. Linda explains creating an alter ego - SouLara Rose - to access bold self-expression, giving herself permission to feel and cry, and shares her future plans for books, workshops, retreats, and eventually singing her own songs. The episode ends with Leslie reflecting on training intuition alongside intellect.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro

01:12 Remembering Your True Self

03:47 Music Roots and Return

04:28 Unpeeling Conditioning

05:57 Crisis Divorce and Healing

09:50 Rebirth Rhythm Release

11:13 Nervous System vs Intuition

14:52 SouLara Rose Alter Ego

16:28 Dancing in the Storm

19:01 Permission to Feel

23:39 Is Self Care Selfish

27:08 Regulate Before Choosing

27:46 Pressure Means No

28:09 Visualize The Reality

29:56 Define Your Success

30:45 If In Doubt Wait

33:08 Timing And Cycles

34:12 Identity In Between

35:07 Don’t Chase Attract

39:27 Healing Onion Layers

41:00 What’s Next

42:43 Where To Find Linda

43:14 Trust Yourself Message

45:16 Host Reflection Wrap

 

You can find Linda on:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindawysocka/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61580392440169

SouLara Rose on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0wwhEcDid5PPNwjAhn8R8Q

Purpose Project is a research study on the topic of living life's purpose. You can follow along in the making of Purpose Project:
Instagram: @purpose.project
LinkedIn: @purposeproject-media
TikTok: @purpose.project

Captions are auto-generated. 

Leslie

Welcome back to Purpose Project. I'm your host, Leslie Pagel, and this season we're exploring what it means to live to the beat of our own drum. Today, I'm joined by Linda Wysocka. Linda is the musical creator behind the brand SouLara Rose, and she is the founder of Rebirth Rhythm. The first time I heard Linda's music I knew that I needed to reach out to her to learn more about the person and the work behind the music In this conversation, we explore music, we explore embodiment, and we explore what it means to reconnect to a deeper wisdom that is within us. So let's get into it Linda, welcome to Purpose Project. Thank you for being here with me today.

Linda

Thanks for having me. I'm really excited to be here today.

Leslie

I have been admiring your work, and I am so excited to dig into this topic of living a life authentically and what that looks like and, how it connects to purpose. And so to get started is if you could speak to how someone might say you live life to the beat of your own drum

Linda

when someone says you're living to the beat of your own drum, what comes to mind to me is it's not that much a learning or a new becoming, it's more a remembering. It's, letting go of all the versions you had to be as a child to survive childhood. it's about, letting go of the roles you had to play in school for the teachers, for friends. It's really letting go of all of those, and really coming back to, who am I? Who is Linda? Or sometimes I use Solara Rose, my artist name. Like, what would Solara Rose do right now? It's like the bolder, version which just goes and hits the road and doesn't care, like it's just who she is, you know? And I think it's really just a remembering of who you truly are, what lights you up, what excites you. And I think using your body as a measurement, and really learning about the nervous system has been for me personally such a big game changer. You know, really feeling into your body. When you think about something, even when you buy something, you know, for instance, I bought a new car not long ago, and, I was trying so many different cars, and I was sitting in there and just tuning into that timeline of that car, and feeling like, "How would it be to own this car?" You know? And all the cars were like, "Oh, yeah," And my, my body posture was, like, a little bit slumpy, and I was just like, "Oh, yeah, it's okay." Like, you know, it's It wasn't it. And then I was sitting in a car, in another one, like I'd tried a few ones, and there were some really nice car. Anyway, I sat into this Audi A3, and I sat in it and it was like, "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, this is it." And my whole body just lit up. And I knew, you know, not only I feel when you make decisions from this po- from this kind of point, these are things you're bringing into your life that will add to your life. They're not gonna take away. And, I'll start doing it with everything. Even when I buy clothes, it's like it's just gonna add that to my life. And I think beating to your own drum is really realizing, and taking a beat before you're making any decision.

Leslie

Mm.

Linda

And figuring out, does that actually align with me? Does that belong into my vision of life? Like, is it gonna, add to it and bring in, or is it gonna take away from it? And anything we bring in has energy, right? Like clothes, stuff, furniture, like anything has energy. And same with choosing careers, choosing a pathway, choosing a passion, you know? music was actually something- I grew up with. My dad was a musician. I was with him in a band from early on. I always loved music, and I was always singing, I was always in musicals and dance. that was my thing, you know? But my dad always called it a pipe dream, you know? "There's no money in music. Don't do it. You're so smart, you should be a doctor, a lawyer," you know? and I paused that whole thing and only picked it up, just over a year ago that I start making music.

Leslie

Really?

Linda

It's very fresh again. and before that, before I left Germany, it was my whole life. My whole life was music. I was always part of a band. I was always singing. I was in a rap band, you know?

Leslie

So there's a lot I wanna unpack here. one of the first things that you said is it's about letting go of the conditioning- Mm-hmm and getting back to this remembrance of, who you are before all of those layers got piled on. I feel like I've been trying to do that for years, and I'm still not there yet. how do you get underneath all of those layers?

Linda

being comfortable saying no, being comfortable disappointing people, being comfortable letting people down. for me personally, and I think a lot of women, One of the archetypes we learned through growing up and, surviving childhood and being in the world, is being the good girl, right? We had to be the good girl. Be pretty, just be quiet- be accommodating, serve, have manners. I think women in particular are so conditioned to that, to just give, serve, and adapt. And, for me, it started really noticing the moments I say, "Yeah, sure," when I actually don't wanna do it, and I actually feel like, "No, that's actually not aligned with me." Or someone did something and I say, "Oh yeah, no worries," but actually I was pissed. That was really like, you're not respecting my time and my value," you know? But I'm not saying it. I'm saying, "Oh yeah, no worries," you know?

Leslie

Right.

Linda

If something isn't good for me, it has to go. Mm. If something is taking away from me, it has to go. And the last few years for me personally have been actually super lonely. you know, a few years ago, I was married, COVID happened, we lost our business, we lost our jobs. We lost everything we have built, the prior years, you know? And we build it with two little kids, with a baby and a toddler. it was full on. It was stressful. We suffered, we sacrificed a lot. And then we finally came to a place where we're like, "Okay, cool." We bought this business, the business was running well. everything was kind of started picking up and we're like, "Okay, we're finally in the better place." And then all of a sudden the rug was pulled under our feet. Like boom, everything was gone. We moved to the in-laws. we weren't really aligned, spiritually. culturally completely different because they're completely different culture than mine. And all of a sudden I was stuck in the situation and I didn't know how to get out, you know? I was sitting there and I remember I was talking to my coach and I was bawling my eyes out. my son came and it was such a beautiful moment actually. And I think he's such a spiritual soul- He came, he sat on my lap, he took my head into, into his, and pushed it against his head, his forehead, and he held it there and just sucked his thumb. And he held my head against his head, and I cried, cried, cried. And, after that I kinda just, you know, I'm an NLP trainer and a hypnosis trainer and a breathwork practitioner, and I always say, I myself am my best client. I use all the techniques on me. I'm using- everything I've got on myself too. I was just thinking about it, you know, when did I felt the last time like that? So stuck- so helpless, I couldn't go anywhere, and I thought, "That was when I was little." And, I did some, time therapy on that thing, and released that, and in the next moment was like, "Hang on a moment, but I'm not a child anymore. I can go wherever I want." "I can live wherever I want." And I was like, "And I have a house two hours down the road. I can go there." So, I literally, just jumped up, went to my husband at the time and said right, I'm moving back to Nelson. This is it." I have to go," have to leave here." And I start looking for jobs. Found a job, and that was really like, It was kinda like the beginning of the last chapter of my marriage and of everything, 'cause after that everything else fell apart. But, that was the moment where I found myself, where I really start- unpeeling some layers, letting go of conditioning, really starting, really stopping multiple times during the day and just, "Is this what Linda deserves?" You know- Mm-hmm "Is this what I truly want?" And what I also realized after my divorce was, I had closed my heart- but I closed my heart when I was 19 or 20. So all the decades of healing I've done, before I met my ex-husband, they all worked, and I released a lot of layers, but only to the heart wall. So, while we were still married, towards the end, I became a breathwork practitioner, and I'd done a lot of- cacao ceremonies with breathwork coupled. And, cacao's such a heart opener, and I thought I'm doing it for the people, right? Like, yeah, I'm the facilitator, I'm holding the spaces, and we're doing the breathwork, and I'm guiding people through. But I think the cacao was there for me. It was for me to open my heart. And once, the divorce was done, I realized that. The story came up to me and I thought, "What if my heart is actually not fully open? What if I'm actually never allowed myself to fully be seen, to fully love, to fully, be open?" Right. Because I was so terrified that I would be hurt again that I was like, you can come in, but, this is pretty much where it ends." And obviously, consciously I didn't know that. it all happened unconsciously. and once I really opened that and healed that, a whole nother layer of feeling had to be gone through and felt. And, yeah, the last year was probably, like one of the most significant healing years I've had in my life. I think at some stage I had two weeks where I cried straight. There was so much grief coming out of my body, and I just cried and cried. And just using my Rebirth Rhythm Method, where I'm coupling my music with movement, with breath, moving the energy through you, and then you have this massive release. And really, it's massive. it ain't pretty, but it's necessary, And I think a lot of the self-development and also spiritual community, what I see, it's all about, "Oh, you gotta be in the good vibes. You gotta be positive, and you gotta be in that state, and you're only attracting in that state." But hey, if you went through years and years of trauma, heartbreak, things which happened to you and you've never really let them out of your body, they're there. And it's like a pressure cooker, and it needs to come out. And it comes out through feeling it, through moving through it, through moving your body through it, not just through sitting there and waiting till it's gone. I think for me, I really realized the nervous system piece with the movement and stuff, that was my missing piece of decades and decades of self-development, healing, doing courses, certifications, you know? But nothing really put me back together and brought me back to who I truly am and let me remember that the way Rebirth Rhythm and the music did. and really taking that beat-

Leslie

Yeah

Linda

is important.

Leslie

Yeah. It's, checking in. connecting and peeling back the layers is taking the beat and checking in with yourself in the moment. I love the example of buying the car, and connecting to it. could you talk a little bit more about the nervous system

Linda

Well, the nervous system is protecting us, but it's also an indicator, and it really depends, how regulated and grounded you are. So let's say as a child you had a lot of chaos at home. There was a lot of unpredictability, not clear rules, the boundaries would move a lot. Maybe there was domestic violence. when there was a lot of stuff happening, you were used to chaos, and for you, love and intensity is chaos. Like, you know-

Leslie

Mm-hmm

Linda

love is the chaos, intensity, the unpredictability, the push-pull energy. So when you go out as a adult and you're like, "Okay, now, you know, I've done all my healing and stuff," and you walk into a relationship, your nervous system will still be wired for that chaos, for that unpredictability, for that push and pull energy. That will feel to you like, "Ooh, there's chemistry here. And you have all those feelings, And, I think a lot of people misunderstand nervous system activation and intuition- because they are not the same, and it's really about learning to come and make decisions from a regulated place. Like I know for myself, I have a emotional wave. I have a high, I have a low, and I have a neutral. I never make a, decision when I'm high and low. And for women particular, right, we have our cycle. I don't know how it's for you, but I know like four days a week, before my bleed starts- Mm I'm super sensitive. I also call it a little bit my bullshit detector time, because nothing what is not 100% aligned, like it will come up, and when it comes up two cycles in a row, I know this bothers me actually. there's something not right here. and really noticing those things, and learning how to regulate yourself, you know? And you can regulate so easily. Like you can take in a breath, four counts in, and then you hold it for a little bit, and then you exhale six counts, eight counts. As long as you extending the exhale, you will slow down your brainwaves, your nervous system, everything comes down. Movement- Mm a really good way. You know, for me personally, I love, you know, since I'm making the music, I'm dancing to it. Like, you know? To, to the lyrics. Because research has also found and shown that when you listen to lyrics while you're moving, and they're empowering lyrics, or hypnosis or anything, you're embodying the message faster.

Leslie

Oh, really?

Linda

Yeah. I have this whole album coming out on my other brand, not Solara Rose, I created Rebirth Rhythm as well. And I'm releasing at the moment the album Barefoot Billionaire. some of the stuff is written for me. Like, it's like, okay, what do I wanna have now? And there are also songs where I'm, processing and I know other people processing that stuff too, right? Like not feeling good enough, not feeling good in your skin, you know? And, yeah, just always, feeling like you're not really fitting in. But I think if you're feeling like you're not really fitting in, it's because you're never meant to fit in, because you are special. You're meant to be out there. You're meant to lead. You're a trail br- blazer. So that's why you're not fitting in. And for me, like the last year particular- I've actually been quite the hermit, you know? There's only- Mm-hmm a tiny handful of people. I've been very careful with who I'm giving access into my life, and really checking also with my body, how do I feel afterwards? Do I feel energized? Exactly. Do I feel tired? Do I feel exhausted? You know. And then I'm looking for patterns. So I'm really like, "Now, this is a pattern. This is connected to this person. I need to shift this." You know? And really being honest about it, and not worrying about if you're upsetting someone, and personally as a single mom, I'm working full time, I'm a single mom, and I'm building my business on the side. I need a lot of time to recharge as well,

Leslie

Tell us a little bit about Solara Rose.

Linda

Yep. Well, you know, I kinda just wanted to find a name which aligned with me, right? And, there was Sol, Lara, and then Rose. I kinda thought it was beautiful. And then at some stage it started as a joke really, you know? I wasn't even thinking about it like that. But I was hanging out with friends and we were talking about things and I was like, "Well, I've spoken with Solara and she thinks it's a great idea. We should totally do that." And each time, when I had a idea and I thought it was a really good one and we should just do it, and I wasn't, like, bold enough to just say it, I was like, "Well, Solara thinks we should be doing this." "And you know, I mean, she knows what's happening. She, she knows what's good. Like, so let's just do what Solara says." And that's how it kinda started. Then a friend was like, "Oh, yeah, your alter ego, there's a lot of, research about that, how people use that to kinda progress and expand." And then I kinda like intuitively started doing it. and for me it felt like a joke, like, you know? but I could also see, you know, anything I wanted to say, what felt too scary to say as me- Mm I started bringing out through Solara, you know? because, well, it wasn't me, right?

Leslie

Right.

Linda

I wasn't like one person of Solara Rose. So I created the song The Fire. I created this album called Reclaim, And there's this one particular song called The Fire. That's my favorite. It's, like, super tribal. It's, you know, it's like there's parts in it where th- literally it's like, "I choose me." And then there's this choir, "Say it again." And then it's like, "I choose me," you know? And it's this really, like, reclaiming song, and you, you, you're listening to the drumming and stuff.

Leslie

Mm-hmm.

Linda

And the song was there ready to be out. I was just about to fly to Melbourne to facilitate one of, the workshop, and I knew tomorrow morning or at night there's a storm coming into Nelson, New Zealand, torrential rain in the summer, and I was lying in bed and I was like, "What if I would go in the field," because I'm living on huge farmland, dance in the mud, in the rain, to the song, completely wet, drenched." And I go and dance to it. And so I did. In the morning I was like, "Okay, I gotta do it," you know? And I balanced the camera with, my daughter's umbrella on top, and the wind was kinda like- This whole thing was all wonky. And I was, in the field, giving it all, going out and dancing. and I would go back, look at the phone, and then I wasn't even in the shot. you could just see my arm coming in. And I was like, "Damn it." I danced three songs because, just one more, just one more. So I did another round. Wasn't as good, and I was like, "Okay, just focus where this grass patch is, this really weird little patch," and I was like, "Put the camera over there so you know where you have to go, so you stand in front of that little patch." And I stood in front of, danced- recorded it all. And then after that I had this massive emotional release. I started crying and I thought, "Shit, I should talk about and record it as well." So I recorded myself and it was like a eight-minute spiel about my journey, what was going on, and there was like a particular part, I had this super stressful manager job. but I think this was a very significant part of my journey because, we had a beautiful team, I had amazing boss, and the higher management was so great, and, we were going through a lot of challenges and, that's when I went from a period of just crying and crying and crying, and she just valued me so much. She said, "You know, you're doing such good work", and I really felt for the first time I can be my puddle of emotions. And I feel- Mm like a complete mess, but I'm still valued. I'm still- Mm worthy. I'm still seen. And anyway, I'd spoken about that journey in that video and I was crying, but it was a beautiful story. I cut the videos. I cut a little bit of the dancing and I cut the snippet of where I was talking about that story, and I posted it. when I used to do lots of videos I had haters, and, I thought, "Okay, I really should put that out." But there was the fear, you know? Am I gonna be judged? Are people gonna say something? Is it gonna be too much, you know, too open, too emotional, you know? Because I was judged a lot for my emotions when I was younger.

Leslie

Mm.

Linda

So there was this real fear of, what could happen.

Leslie

Right.

Linda

Anyway, I posted it, and posted the second video, and sure enough straight away I get a message from a relative saying straight away underneath it, like, "What's wrong with you? Go and get help." under my video. And I'm like, "Oh my fucking God," and I tried to explain it and I was like, "No, this is private. You should not do that in public." And I'm like, "Well, maybe it's just the way I like to express myself." And I think for me that moment, what I realized was also about giving people permission, giving people permission to cry. There's nothing wrong with you when you're crying. We all have all the stuck up emotions in you, and I don't know how it's for you in your area, but New Zealand it's like, "She'll be all right. She'll be all right." There's this whole bypassing of anything that's negative. but here we are having actually a really high suicide rate because people are actually not looking at what's going on emotionally and just pretending they're okay. if something sad happens, you need to process that. You cannot just pretend nothing happens. If someone dies, you should be sad. If you're going through a breakup, you should be sad. You're not a robot, you know? And so many people are worried about AIs taking over, but then they're judging all this emotional part. This is the most human you can possibly be like, you know?

Leslie

I, one of the things that I am learning, in season three is the topic of permission and the power that permission gives us. I've talked with several people on season three that were like, "I needed the permission of my spouse or my family or whatever in order to be able to go do this thing that- Yeah I'm supposed to do with my life, or to be this person." Yeah so it is a powerful thing.

Linda

If people have someone like Solara, you know, they create their own little thing, she gives you permission. Right.

Leslie

Right.

Linda

Solara said so. It's a good idea. Go do it.

Leslie

I'm gonna drop a link to Solara Rose on Spotify for anyone listening. definitely encourage you to go listen to the music, 'cause, it's incredible. you mentioned earlier about how, in some ways, it's allowing you to, like, manifest this life that you're looking to. And when I listen to it, I feel it in my body too. I feel empowerment, I feel, release, I feel, grief too. I feel love. you have such a range of, songs that- create this emotional connection that are amazing. I love it.

Linda

Yeah, there's this whole album, love album, which comes out at the moment. And, it really started with, you know, I could feel a male presence next to me, you know? And it was really calm and steady, and It wasn't like crazy intense or passion or anything. It was just like the steadiness and the calmness and the caring. And so that was the inspiration for the song I Breathed You In and, Before You Arrived, you know? Because I was just like, "Well, I feel someone here. I might as well write something about it, so I'm bringing it in faster," right? 'Cause that's how my brain kinda works. Like, yeah, I mean, if you wanna bring it in, then you need to write something, and then you need to publish it, because it's only gonna come true if it's out there. So as long as you need help, it's quicker it's gonna happen for you too. So I started doing those three songs. I Breathed You In, Before You Arrived, and I timeline shift or something. Anyway, they're actually part of the whole album, there's more songs coming out every week, and, they're all, one big album, which is Remembering Love. And giving yourself permission, you know, to be fully seen-

Leslie

Right

Linda

and being fully you, you know? And I think you really know you're in a good place when you love being by yourself, when being by yourself became so nourishing because you are the person who gives yourself everything you truly need, that there is nothing else needed. You know? Right. now I'm at a stage where I'm so protective of my space because I'm so happy and so in peace by myself that I'm like, well, you gotta be a very special person if I give you access into my world, you know? and I'm, yeah, very selective, and I think everyone should be because, we should bring in what's nourishing, what's helping us grow, you know?

Leslie

Right

Linda

growing is not always gonna be pretty. It's not always gonna be positive and feeling like chocolates and roses. That's not what I'm saying. But it's authentic. It's true. it's growing for a higher purpose, and I think that's for me one of the highest values, you know, just being able to grow to my highest expression of who I am.

Leslie

Mm-hmm.

Linda

And that's, living in purpose, in alignment.

Leslie

Yeah. So I, I have had this internal conflict with myself on what I'm hearing because in a way I'm hearing, prioritizing myself, right? Really seeking alignment of myself and connection to the environment And I, I've questioned is that selfish? Is that selfish of me to do that? Or is it the way that I connect to purpose that I can lift other people up? Any kind of thoughts or reactions to that?

Linda

Yes. I can very relate with what you're saying, actually. I think first of all, I want to tell you the fact that you're reflecting on it just means that you're not a selfish person. Because if you were truly selfish and self-centered, in a negative way, you wouldn't reflect on it- because you wouldn't care.

Leslie

Right.

Linda

and second part, I think every good coach will teach you how to be selfish. Selfish first. Because if your cup is not truly full and you cannot look after yourself and make sure that you have everything you need to thrive, to grow, to give yourself the environment- to sprout and bloom in, in your highest expression- how are you gonna do anything for anyone else? You know, before when I was trying to build my business, I had the babies, I was trying to do too many things, and I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed, and I just burnt out. I burnt out. I lost all joy. There was no joy anymore. I was just hustling. I was hustling and grinding, and I had success, and then I lost everything. I kind of repeated the cycle over and over again, and I lost all joy. I wasn't happy anymore. Mm-hmm. And, that was the moment where I was just like, "You know what? My only focus will be to be happy." Mm-hmm. "I just wanna be happy again. I just wanna have fun." And I saw this coach, she was dancing on the beach, and she was listening to music, and she was dancing, like, really free and fun. And I thought, "Wow, I wanna be like her." not like her exactly, but I wanna be my own expression of that freedom, of that lightness, of that, "Yeah, screw this. Let's just do it," you know? I just wanted to be that. And really, the moment I saw her, I think I saw her, like, two years ago, I've been, slowly working on that, but in a loving, gentle way, not the harshness, And I think that's where the question comes back in, like, am I selfish? Because again, I think as women, as mothers, we're wired, "Oh, we should be doing this. We should be doing this, and we should be giving here, and we should take care of the kids, and the partner, and the job, and the purpose. Oh, my friend, they're asking for help, and oh my God, this person needs something." You know, and their environment, we need to take care of their environment. I think this is all this, you know, the influences we get from the outside, who we s- supposed to be, how we should be- Right what it means to be a good person in the world. Move everything away and just check in here. How's Leslie feeling? Mm does Leslie want to do this? Is this a good idea? Mm-hmm. You know? Is this what she truly wants? and then feel in your body, does it light you up? Does it make you feel like, "Ooh, yeah, this feels fun." Or does it feel like, "Oh, well, yeah, yeah, we could do that. I mean, that makes sense." "It's logical," you know? It's like a good idea. You know, if you start explaining yourself why you should be doing something, it ain't it.

Leslie

Right. You

Linda

know?

Leslie

And- Agreed

Linda

I But then also keep in mind, if you're super activated and dysregulated, which means you're overthinking, your body is buzzing, things like that, don't make decisions from that place. That's not the true you. Mm. This is your activated you, the one which is in survival, the one which is freaking out right now because God knows what's happened.

Leslie

Right.

Linda

Because also, if you're used to chaos, if good, calm things come in, they can freak you out. They can really- freak you out. so when you're feeling super activated and dysregulated, don't make any decisions. Go for a walk. Do the things which are good for your body. Regulate yourself first. Maybe sleep on it.

Leslie

Mm-hmm.

Linda

And then next day... I have a very harsh rule now. If someone is putting me under pressure, with anything, also business decisions, like I need to have a decision in two hours, okay, it's a no then.

Leslie

Right. Right.

Linda

I'm not feeling the pressure to make decisions anymore.

Leslie

speaking of that, are you making decisions from that feeling, that gut, that intuition? Is that what you're- tuning into?

Linda

Yeah. I really feel into my body, feel into that possibility of that decision. Mm-hmm. Like, how would my life feel like if I would've done that? Mm-hmm what would it be like? What would I be doing? What would I be feeling? what would I be seeing? And really try to tune into that reality of that decision. What does it really mean to me? You know, sometimes we make a decision or we attract something, and we think we want it, but do we really want it? Do we really want the reality of it? Like, you know, someone was telling me, oh, I should do, like, a course, or I should do, like, a one-year program But the reality of it, that's not where I'm at right now. I don't wanna have that commitment of having to show up somewhere every week to something. I prefer doing events, and I can feel that. If I'm tuning into the reality of doing something and being committed to something for one year, it feels like defeat in my body. It feels like-

Leslie

Right

Linda

I like to explain the world like we are all a big picture, and every one of us is a pixel, and the pixel has to be its own shape, its own shade of color. It's all its own expression. And we need to be our own expression to create that picture. If we're all the same, it's not gonna be a picture. It will be shades of gray or, shades of some colors. but it's not gonna be the picture it's meant to be. And I think that's why it's so important to really take that time, go back to yourself, and ask yourself, How does it apply to me in my life?

Leslie

Mm-hmm. You

Linda

How does it look like? How does it feel like? And really tune into the reality of that decision to really know, is this is gonna be helpful for my journey, or is that just gonna be a detour? Mm-hmm. And not that anything is bad, right? Like, I think no matter what we do and where we go, we always learn something. we always get some kind of gift and some kind of nugget- from any experience really. But at some stage, like, I mean, do we always have to go the hard, long road, you know? Sometimes I feel like, you know, we got so used to pushing shit up, uphill, you know? Right. Why don't we just go downhill for a while, you know? And just let it all fly and just go with it, you know? follow that intuition. Follow that feeling in your body be really clear where you wanna go. How does it look like? What does it feel like, you know? Do you wanna be working 10 hours a day, or do you wanna do something else? Do you wanna be traveling? Or do you wanna be stationed somewhere? it's so different for different people. So what is it really you want, and what does success actually really looks like for you particular? Because what success looks like for you might be completely different what it looks like for me, right? So when people say success, I mean, what's success? How does it look like? What does it mean?

Leslie

Right. So do you have full trust in your intuition,

Linda

Yeah. there's a really good saying, I got from one of my mentors, and I really love that one. "If in doubt, hang out." So if you're unsure, don't make a decision. So there are a few things I do. If I'm doubting, I'm not making a decision, I wait. I make sure I'm actually really regulated. I'm making sure I'm not in a high and I'm not in a low. I'm making sure I'm in a steady. And if I'm not sure about something, I'm just waiting a little bit. I'm just allowing time to pass. I'm looking at it. I'm gathering more information. I'm just putting it out there like, "Look, okay, universe, I'm interested in this. Show me everything I need to know to figure out if this is the right path for me." And then I'm checking into it, I had some offers before which looked really great, and would've been quick expansion or, much more, visibility faster, and I tuned into it and really felt into reality of what it really would meant to be in that section, and I realized it wasn't for me, and it kind of felt a little bit like I'm passing up a good opportunity, but ultimately, I think through the last few years just saying yes to too many things which actually end up not being great for me and not being right for me, I think I just learned to being okay saying no. And not feeling like I missed out on something, and really trusting now that this is just not where my path leads me. My path leads me somewhere else. Mm-hmm. And I have personally become quite cutthroat in that perspective, you know? I'm not, I'm not here to waste much more time. I am going slow. I wanna go slow. I'm working on my project. I'm really feeling what's aligned, and then make the move. Right. And if I'm in doubt or if I'm unsure or if I'm super activated because maybe I'm triggered- I work on the trigger. I, I try to release what's coming up for me. You know, try to see what's the part of me I haven't really acknowledged yet. what do I need to own here? And release everything else, and just give it some time until I feel a full body, like, "Yeah, now it feels good." You know, because just because something doesn't feel good or something feels good but you're still not really sure doesn't mean it's not good entirely. It maybe just means it's not right yet, you know? there might be still some time needed to kinda get you to the place, and maybe give you some extra information or maybe an extra skill till you're like, "Now's the right time to do that." I wrote this book a year ago, and it's a women's empower book. And I finished it, but I didn't feel it was finished. And the last chapter came to me a few days ago. I woke up and I thought, "Shit, this is the last chapter." And I felt like I had to experience what I had to experience the last whole year. So I think there is a wisdom of listening to yourself.

Leslie

Right.

Linda

There's a nugget there. There's something which belongs to it which maybe hasn't been revealed yet.

Leslie

Mm-hmm.

Linda

And that's maybe why it doesn't feel like a, "Yeah, this is, you know, this is a full body yes." And I think- Yeah, take your time. I think we're so conditioned to go fast, go fast, quicker, quicker, you know? And when you think about it, we as women, we're living in this, male-made world and functioning in it, and I think we have to kinda come back to our own body's wisdom, and working with that, and, trying to work around that a little bit and, work in our own cycles, and trusting that, you know? Mm-hmm. I think trusting that. And in the beginning it feels weird, right? If you're doing something for the very first time, you've never done it like that, your brain doesn't have any evidence yet that that actually works.

Leslie

Right.

Linda

and in that part you might feel completely lost because you have left your old identity but the new identity hasn't arrived yet fully, so you're in the in-between stage where you're like, "Who the fuck am I?" It's like, "What's happening? Who am I? Where do I go? What do I do?" and you have this complete stage where you're completely lost. and now for me, I know, "Oh, this is the indicator. I'm entering a new identity." left my old identity because it's too tight. I move to the next one." So becoming aware of those moments when those things happen and know- Right.

Leslie

Right

Linda

this is not a bad thing. This is a good thing. just focus on how do I wanna feel? Where do I wanna go? what's the end picture looking like for me and how does it feel? Right that's always what I personally hold onto. and then let the rest arrive the way it comes.

Leslie

As you're talking, I've got one of your songs, I Don't Chase, I Attract, in my head, and I'm sitting here thinking, "Okay, so If it's not a full body feel, you just pause. You don't act on it. Is that when it could start coming to you? Is that when you start to attract

Linda

if you give yourself permission to be fully who you are and what you want, you will attract the right thing. there was another saying which I really love is, "What's meant for you will never miss you," which means if it's really for you, it will always find you in a way. I like to have the visual, you throwing all the chips in the air, you saying what you want, you saying, "This is what it is," and then you're letting the chips fall the way they fall. It's not up to you. And if it falls away, something else will come. And be okay with that, and just staying like that. I also did the same in dating. when people were, "Oh, this is your expectation." No, this is not my expectation. These things are a necessity to be in my inner circle. You can do them or you can not do them. My life will go very well, you know, further without you in it or not. Like- I don't care anymore. I, I've gotten to a point where my peace, my values, my standard is the highest value. Right. It's the, you know, this is a must-have. And being okay with that. So that, that's where it comes to like, you know, I don't chase, I attract. This is what I want, and I will stand here until it's happening. Right. I will do the work for it. I will go out, and I will talk to people. I will follow my aligned nudges because, you know, don't just sit there and meditate and, you know, wait for someone to knock on your window. Not that that... Maybe that's possible. do take aligned action, but hold on- to the things you want. And after that, you know what? I attracted a job which gave me exactly what I wanted. At some stage, I worked as a, contractor. I tripled my income or even almost quadrupled it. Like, it was just instant, like, whoo, you know, it went up. And, also now, like, you know, I just entered the dating world again, like a month ago. Like it's really fresh. Yeah, because of my album, honestly. I was like, "Okay, you know-

Leslie

Really? Nice

Linda

I feel like now I need to take action." Yeah. First I had the feeling, then I did the song. Now I take action. Yeah, and at the moment, you know, I'm started kinda like dating someone. And it's been really interesting to observe not only what I'm attracting, but also how I'm- functioning in that dynamic, right?

Leslie

Right.

Linda

And that's the biggest indicator of your growth and how far you have come. And, you know, my biggest fear going into dating right now was the fear of that I might abandon myself again or- Mm you know, because after I opened my heart- I became quite anxious again in relating to men, which I wasn't used to. Because with my ex-husband I was very secure, and I was very steady, and all of a sudden I'm anxious again. I was like, "Who is this person? I wasn't like that since I'm a teenager or something, you know, or since my 20s." And, yeah, I healed that layer, to become secure again, but obviously now it's like almost like a clean slate to kind of create evidence again for my new secure level. Right. And it's been very interesting to observe. it's my personal picture I'm using. when I'm triggered and when my nervous system is running wild, My stress levels are high. I can't handle as much as I usually can. I focus and see myself as the eye of the storm.

Leslie

Mm.

Linda

I just pretend I'm the eye of the storm. I'm still, I'm calm, I'm sitting in it, and it's all around me, the emotions, the energy, everything is like floating around me, but I just stand calm and I'm just watching.

Leslie

Mm.

Linda

And that's all I'm doing. I'm not taking any action. I'm not doing anything. I'm not saying anything. I'm just standing still, and I wait till the storm has passed. And then I see what's happening. Where are the chips? What do we need to do now? And then I move forward. And that has been such a helpful way for me, just to look at life like that, if things... You know, because sometimes it's like that, right? And to see yourself as that eye in the storm just-

Leslie

I love that

Linda

so soothing. Mm.

Leslie

Yeah. Do you feel like you had to go through your loss and grief and all of that in order to be as connected to your authentic self as you are?

Linda

Yeah. definitely. I think we're like- we're like onions. You know, at first we come out with this little pulp, the essence.

Leslie

Mm-hmm.

Linda

And then, we have layers growing. Every year a new layer, Every relationship, every experience, a new layer. And I think when we get older and we start healing, we just peel the onion layer. Yeah and peel and peel until we come to the essence. And, in NLP we call that the spiral of healing, and you're getting rid of a layer. And sometimes it feels like you're going backwards because it's like, what's going on with the fuck I'm not good enough? I feel like I've released that shit, like, a million times," right? But you have another layer and another layer, and eventually you're coming to the core, and that's when it's all integrating, I could really feel that a year or two ago, like, I let go of the fear of rejection, right? Like, and I started dating after I got divorced, and there was this guy and he kind of rejected me, and I was just like, "Yeah, he needed that so much more than I did." And it didn't bother me, so I really enjoyed that. And I think when you start using life as that, you know, use life as a... Not as a parameter who you are and what you're worth-

Leslie

Mm-hmm

Linda

but how far you have come and how much you have healed- Mm how much you have integrated. And just look at your experience as, do I still care about this? Does it actually matter? Or a good thing I sometimes say, like, if it doesn't matter in six months, it actually doesn't matter at all.

Leslie

what do you see in your future? What are you working towards?

Linda

Well, I'm finishing the two books. I'm definitely continuously seeing, doing the workshops, you know, traveling around doing workshops. I'm mainly in Nelson because I have my kids here as well, so I'm kinda stationed here, but I am flying around a little bit. the two books definitely gonna come out. I think especially the second one will be... It feels huge to me. it's kinda like it's a- It's a educational memoir, so it's my own journey, you know, where I extracted my lessons from and, the implementations and things like that. So it's a women's empowerment book, and I'm really excited about that one particular. And my end goal is actually doing retreats. I would love to do retreats around the world. travel around, do some in Bali, Hawaii. So that's definitely something I'm just putting there in the future until- you know, all the things align. And just continuously doing my music and, my goal is actually to sing, some of it, you know, to sing it myself because, it's been all... I created this AI persona- so, you know, I'm writing and creating. But because I've always been in a band and I've always sung myself, and my dad is, getting on my case. He was like, "Why are you not singing your own songs? You're a singer. You've always been a really good singer." And I'm like, "I know, it's gonna happen." But, you know, a day in the studio and stuff, like, it just takes a lot of time to actually do that. So, that's just not where I'm at right now, but that's definitely on the cards as well. And then maybe- a concert, you know, giving a concert. So I thought maybe I'd make, like, a album Sing the ones which are most popular and just travel around and just share the beauty.

Leslie

Love it.

Linda

The

Leslie

lessons. Where can people find you?

Linda

You can find me on Facebook, Instagram. I've got a webpage as well, lindawysawka.com. on Spotify you got Solara Rose. you can just flick me a text if you wanna know anything about my courses. I probably will do online events at some stage too. There will be one-off events, like master classes or something.

Leslie

Awesome.

Linda

Cause that's yeah, what feels most aligned to me at the moment.

Leslie

Yeah. And I'll drop links, in the host notes, so they can- click there to connect. Anything else that you'd like to share with us?

Linda

I think the main thing is stop giving authority to other people. I even say to my clients, "If I tell you something, take it to yourself and feel, feel in your body, how does it apply to me?" There is no one who has been with you 24/7 the way you have, and you have a very specific journey and- gift to bring to the world.

Leslie

Yeah.

Linda

And for you to get that, you need to learn to listen to yourself, and I think a good coach and a good teacher will teach you that. How to trust what you're listening to, and not confuse it with nervous system activations. learn to trust yourself. Trust that inner voice, trust that instincts, you know? ride the wave of emotion and really learn to trust yourself, because you have a gift which the world needs, and the world is waiting for you to bring it to the world.

Leslie

Aw, love that. I have one favor to ask. I've got a small close group of heartfelt, friends that we call ourselves the Crystal Crew, and One of your songs is our, anthem. And so I was wondering if you could give a shout-out to the Crystal Crew.

Linda

Big shout-out to the Crystal Crew. Thank you so much for, vibing with the music, right? And being unapologetically you, because, you know- Right I mean, I love the saying, "No fucks given," right? Do that, Crystal Crew. Keep being you. Don't give an F about anyone, and just be, magnetic AF.

Leslie

Linda, thank you so much for what you do, for putting your music out there, for putting your heart and soul out there for all of us, and for joining me on the show. One of the things I heard is just how you protect your time, and it feels, really special to, have you here with us. So I appreciate that. Thank you so much.

Linda

Thank you for inviting me. It's been a real pleasure and honor to be here,

Leslie

As I reflect on this conversation with Linda, this idea of taking a beat and really tuning in to how that thing that we're, um, considering feels in our body, really stands out for me. We're thinking our way through the next choice, which matters. Of course, that matters. But Linda reminds us that our bodies have information for us as well. Not just the thoughts that we notice, but the feeling beneath them. It could be a pull forward or a desire to retreat. It reminds me that we spend so much of our lives training the intellectual side of ourselves, but what about our intuitive self? What about training our intuition? Maybe living our unique purpose is not only about knowing what we think, but it's also about acknowledging that feeling in our body and giving both a seat at the table. Linda, thank you for creating your music and for putting it out into the world. Thank you for joining me on Purpose Project. And for everyone listening, keep listening for your rhythm, and perhaps take a beat, tune in before you decide what comes next Purpose Project is brought to you for education and for entertainment purposes. This podcast is not intended to replace the advice that you would receive from a licensed therapist or doctor or any other qualified professional.

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Leslie Pagel

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