S1E17: Getting Out Of Our Own Heads with Emily Mellentine

In this episode of Purpose Project, host Leslie Pagel interviews Emily Mellentine, a recent college graduate and author who shares her deeply moving journey of battling depression and using writing as a therapeutic tool. Emily discusses how she found her life's purpose in helping others heal through writing and creating a supportive community. She delves into her personal story of dealing with anxiety, and other mental health challenges from a young age, and how writing became her lifeline. Emily talks about her women’s social and writing group, 'Writings from Her Corner,' which aims to build community and create opportunities for dedicated writing time. The episode highlights the importance of getting out of one's own head, shifting negative mindsets, and the power of human connection and vulnerability in discovering one's purpose.

00:00 Introduction to Purpose Project

00:45 Meet Emily Mellentine

01:47 Emily's Journey with Writing and Healing

02:53 The Power of Writing in Mental Health

10:32 Emily's Writing Group: Building Community

16:32 Reflections on Purpose and Passion

22:50 Facing Anxiety and Embracing Vulnerability

24:58 Manifesting Dreams into Reality

27:27 Overcoming Fear and Taking Action

30:26 Building a Writing Community

35:44 Navigating Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome

38:25 Advice for Finding and Creating Purpose

42:01 Final Reflections and Gratitude

Website: Writingsfromhercorner.org

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/writingsfromhercorner.co/

Purpose Project is a research study on the topic of life's purpose. You can follow along in the making of Purpose Project:
Instagram: @purpose.project
LinkedIn: @purposeproject-media
TikTok: @purpose.project

Captions are auto-generated.

Transcript

Leslie: 0:04

Welcome to purpose project. My name is Leslie Pagel, and I am so glad that you are here today. We have a powerful and a deeply moving story to share with you on today's episode, I sit down with Emily Mellentine, Emily opens up about her battle with depression and how she has used writing as a way to heal. And to discover her life's purpose. She reminds us that sometimes the path to purpose begins when we step out of our own heads and allow ourselves to simply feel and create. Let's dive into Emily's inspiring story. Emily, thank you for being on Purpose Project. I am really looking forward to our conversation.

Emily: 0:51

I am too. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited.

Leslie: 0:54

Absolutely. Before we dive into the topic of life's purpose, tell us a little bit about you. Who is Emily?

Emily: 1:02

Yeah. So I am Emily Mellentine. I am a recent graduate. I'm graduating in, um, next month from Indiana University, Indianapolis with my major in communication studies and a certificate in public relations and minor in women's gender and sexuality studies. Nice. And I'm an author. I have two self published books and I'm host of Writings from Her Corner, which is a women's social and writing group that is dedicated to Building community and creating the opportunity for dedicated writing time and the space for people to be able to share their writings and bond and connect

Leslie: 1:45

over

Emily: 1:45

that.

Leslie: 1:46

Nice. So, tell us, do you have a life's purpose?

Emily: 1:52

I do have a life's purpose, yes. My purpose is to heal and to help other people heal in any way that I can and for me, that's through writing.

Leslie: 2:01

Okay, okay. Yeah,

Emily: 2:03

so, sorry. No, go ahead, yeah. So I don't feel like I have a singular purpose. I think, you know. Purpose can be ever changing, and we can have many different purposes. And mine isn't exactly just to write. It's the healing with the writing and the building community around it. You know, using that as a common interest.

Leslie: 2:28

Yeah. To

Emily: 2:28

build upon.

Leslie: 2:29

Yeah. So, your purpose is to heal, is to help people heal. And you're using your passion of writing and community as the facilitator of that. Yeah. Yes, that's beautiful. How did you come upon this as your purpose? Was there a defining moment in your life

Emily: 2:52

Yeah, definitely. So, I've had a lot of moments where writing has saved my life, I feel like. It started at a pretty young age. I started dealing with major depression and anxiety, eating disorder and suicidal ideation from when I was about in 5th grade. And I started getting treated in 7th grade. And I started going to therapy and my therapist recommended it. Specifically for like the panic attacks I was having to start writing as a coping skill and to see how that worked. And it worked really well for me. You know, it really grounds you. Gets you out of your head. And the hand movement, it just, it brings you back into reality. And also, writing down your thoughts, seeing them visually. can really help you process them more. Cause you know, sometimes when you have everything swirling around in your head, you believe everything and stuff. So when you see it like in front of you, you're like, Oh, that's not true or whatever. It's easier to work through and process. So it started out that way and I also just had really bad self esteem. I just really hated myself, like how I looked, who I was and. In eighth grade, I just realized I had to change that. It felt kind of like life or death, you know? So, I started using writing as a way to love myself more. And so I started just with like a lot of affirmations. I would do that every day, just writing, you know, I'm beautiful and qualities about myself that I liked. And, at first, like, I didn't really believe all that stuff I was writing. But, with consistency, as you do it, I started to believe it. And I started to be able to expand upon that. And, the mental health journey has continued. You know, it's a lot of ups and downs. I still have major depressive disorder. And, I was recently just diagnosed with ADHD. and a couple years ago with, um, borderline personality disorder. And some of it's definitely genetic, like some of it runs through my family. Um, but, yeah, it's never really gone away, especially the depression part. And writing, I like to say like I turn my pain into poetry. Like, being able to express all the terrible things you're feeling and thinking. in a way that like makes you feel kind of proud. Is a really nice feeling. And then being able to share that with other people and have other people respond to that and then open up themselves about relating to stuff like that has been life

Leslie: 6:11

changing. I feel like, yeah, yeah. Thank you for sharing all of that. It sounds like your purpose, or at least writing, is helping you cope, with, some of the mental health challenges that you have and your purpose is then bringing that through and helping other people heal through that. When you, you talked about going to a therapist and the advice of writing as a way of helping you heal or helping you process, were you already a writer? Is that something that you already had joy in or did you discover that through the therapist?

Emily: 7:01

I had, I, I know that I was a writer in a sense of, at school, I was, I would always get an A on, like, essays and stuff like that. It just came naturally.

Leslie: 7:13

I,

Emily: 7:15

before that, I didn't really do much with it, but as soon as that started, it didn't end. It just kept going, and it became such an important part in my life, especially, I felt. I feel very disconnected from people and I feel like I didn't have a very strong support system. And especially when you're dealing with depression and other mental struggles, it can be very isolating. And I use writing, I guess, as a way to not feel so alone. You know, it helped me feel less lonely, even if I wasn't sharing it with other people. I think it does take you, like, deeper into, personal reflection. So, when you're writing, whatever you're writing about, whether that's just basic journaling, or you are trying to write some kind of poetry, or essays, or whatever, You're reflecting, so you're seeing things in a different perspective, I feel like. Because you have to really think, how do I want this to come across? Right. Or it just comes naturally, and it just helps you gain new perspective, I feel like. Yeah,

Leslie: 8:30

do you have something that you could read to us?

Emily: 8:33

Yes, I do. So, this is my second. Her Sweet Bitter Truths. And it's funny, the last poem is actually called Purpose. Love it. It is. It goes, I will craft a hundred poems about grey skies, the brightness of the moon, and how the wind sways through the trees. I will type pages upon pages about glances stolen, beginnings, endings, and all the things I wish you'd say to me. I will choose my words carefully as black ink pours. Stories, memories, make believe, and all the things I hope will come to be. For my pen is my power, my will, my fate. I'll burn my being onto paper and watch as a pile of self titled books rise. For in this lifetime, I write to survive.

Leslie: 9:29

That is beautiful.

Emily: 9:30

Thank you. And I truly do feel that way because, When I am struggling, and you know, if I'm in the middle of a breakdown or something, or if I'm just, you know, down bad, writing is just something that's always there. It's always available. Right. You can always go to it. Right. And, it just makes me feel better. Yeah. Even if it's not perfect. And, really want people to know, especially people who come to my group and everything, to be a writer is to write. And it doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be good or, in my opinion, like, grammatically correct or whatever. Like, writing is just writing. It's an expression. And whether you're just journaling or making lists, like, I'm such a list person. It can all be so impactful and useful.

Leslie: 10:30

Yeah. Yeah. Tell us a little bit more about your group.

Emily: 10:34

Yeah. So, I started it about a year ago. October of last year. My friend, Anika, she came to me and she pitched the idea. She was like, you should have, you should do this. You should make this group. And I already had the name picked out. Writing is From Her Corner. I always like wanted to do something with it, but I didn't know what and she just told me she's like just Find a cafe like go do go find somewhere and invite people and like see who comes like I'm sure some people will come and you know and it was really scary at first I Even for the first like I've done 15 sessions And I feel like I'm just now getting confident with it, but before the sessions, like, I'll get so nervous. And then once the session starts and we're in the middle of it, everything just calms down. And by the end of the session, I just feel so full and full of light. It's just very, it's very magical, especially now that I've had more sessions. So the same people are showing up. And we love new people as well, but. So for the first, it's usually an hour and a half. Okay. So for the, it's kind of split into like three parts. So the first part is just mingling, just talking, getting to know each other. And sometimes if that's like a little slow, like, I have social anxiety. kind of bad. And I realized like other people probably do as well. So I try to like be very accommodating during my session. So I always have like questions ready to go and everything. So I'll like post questions and we just kind of get to know each other through that. And then, and it's a great way to make friends. Like I have made a couple of my best friends through these groups and it can be really hard as a new adult to Make friends, you know, especially if you're not in school, or you just have a hard time. Right. So yeah, we'll all mingle and then we'll go into independent reading or writing time. Okay. So people can Spread out, and it'll usually be about 30 40 minutes where we're just independently writing or reading. Before we do independent reading or writing, I'll pose a prompt. So if people want to do the prompt, they can. If not, they don't have to. And then at the very end of the session, we have time that we can share. So if that's the prompt, or anything else, Someone's been working on. Yeah, we have that sharing time and That's my favorite time I bet yeah, and It's so funny, it's not funny, but so many times So many people who share They'll start out with saying I'm not a writer, or, oh, I just finished this, like, this is just a draft. Like, they'll diminish themselves in their writing before they even read it at all. And then they'll proceed to read the most, like, beautiful or profound piece, and emotional. And then so many people can connect with what they're saying. I feel like very often. We feel like we're alone in the things that we experience and feel. And for a while, I felt that way too. Just writing in my notebook. And then as you start sharing and opening up, you get people saying, I've been through that, or I am going through that.

Leslie: 14:23

I can react to what you just said there because part of your purpose is community and that connection of I've been there or that is helping to create community as well.

Emily: 14:39

It really is. And it's very nice to have. A community. Not everyone has one. And for the longest time, I didn't. And I didn't know how to find one.

Leslie: 14:51

Yeah.

Emily: 14:51

So I guess I just created one.

Leslie: 14:53

Yes, you did. Yeah.

Emily: 14:55

And it just makes my heart happy. You know, like our last session was right after election results. And it was a heavy session. And it took, I, I could tell it took a lot for people to come and to be there. It, the energy was just very heavy and I started out just asking everyone, How are we doing? And what's one way you're taking care of yourself? Or a new way you want to start taking care of yourself? And then I posed a prompt just right about, Your experience, how you're feeling about everything going on. And then we all wrote and we all shared and you could just feel the energy and feelings shift. Like you come in feeling however you're feeling depressed, angry, scared, and then we all share how we feel and we all have such different perspectives, but also similar ideas and feelings. And it just makes you feel not alone, like, you feel supported and that you have people that are standing with you and that believe in you and

Leslie: 16:16

support.

Emily: 16:16

And it's just very beautiful to have that, to be able to keep coming back to. Right.

Leslie: 16:22

Right. Which is the healing piece too, yeah. Um, so, a couple, Observations. So Purpose Project is a research study on the topic of life's purpose. And one of the things that has become crystal clear to me is, and it's kind of obvious when you say it out loud, but it, but I had to discover it for it to become obvious, is that to find our purpose, we have to go inward. We have to. Quiet our minds. We've got to really take a look at ourselves in the mirror and face the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, you know, all the things, the fears. And your story, speaks to that as well in terms of using writing as a way of really exploring your thoughts, your feelings. And. Helping you heal as well with affirmations.

Emily: 17:28

Yeah. So I actually struggled with purpose for a really long time, especially with all the suicidal ideation. You know, that was a big thing. Why am I here? What do I have to live for besides obviously family and all that good stuff? I struggled, struggled with that for a while. Because I feel like society doesn't do an amazing job of wanting people to find their purpose and follow it. And I say that because once you start figuring out what I want to do for a career, some of the options can just be kind of limited. And I, I felt Like that for a while, I was very scared to start my career and not have it aligned with my purpose and my passions. But, it takes a lot to follow your passion. I feel like, like you have to, It's hard to even kind of discover. And, like I said earlier, purposes can be ever changing. And, I think the basic line of purpose is to be. To be as happy as you can be. What's going to get you there, and then just aligning yourself to that goal. With the right things that you're doing and surrounding yourself with the right people.

Leslie: 19:02

Yeah. Yeah That is that's another Conclusion that I'm coming to for now is that a lot of times people think about purpose as this achievement this goal this Mission this thing and they think in big grand terms like purpose of my life but what I'm hearing from you and from others is that it is really more of a, a way of being. Yeah. It's when our self is in alignment with our actions. How we are is aligned with what we're doing and it's hard because of the societal pressures or the societal norms or conditioning, whatever you want to call it. But the things that external puts on us as this is how you should live your life Or these are the thing the careers you should pursue.

Emily: 20:03

Yeah, and so much of that gets like trapped in your own head and then You're not like really listening to that, but you're telling yourself that right and that's what I was doing for a while, too I was so depressed because I felt like I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be, have a group of women, like, you know, create something like that and have that be my career. And I just felt like, I can't do that. I don't know how to do that. And it was depressing. Until I got over that fear and realized I could do that. That's entirely possible. It's just a changing your perspective, which is hard.

Leslie: 20:48

Yeah, it is.

Emily: 20:49

It is really hard and it takes a lot and sometimes it takes going through a lot of things that don't align with you to figure, figure out what makes your

Leslie: 21:03

soul light up. Right, and sometimes we get just caught up in the motions of. The shoulds like this is what I should do. I should go to college. I should graduate with these degrees. I should get this job. I should get married. And, and we're so caught up in that, that we don't look outside of it and say, hold on, is this what lights me up? Yeah. Yeah.

Emily: 21:30

That was like always just one of my biggest fears. I'm not going to be doing what I'm passionate about. Or I'm not going to be aligned with my purpose. I was always so scared of that, so, I tried to go into like, non profit work. I've worked with Girls Inc., and Indiana Humanities, and Visit Indy, which are all very great organizations that help build community, and enrich people's lives. It's just not a topic that a lot of people talk about regularly. No one's really having that conversation a lot, you know. All the external just kind of rules your life sometimes. Yeah. It takes a lot to break out of that. And, I mean, for me, also, I will get caught back up in it. And I'll lose sight of the things that are important to me. That happens a lot. It's just a matter of getting back into it and becoming more focused. Yeah.

Leslie: 22:33

I see so much courage in you. And, I think fear keeps people from pursuing their purpose. Oh, yeah. And I see you. I'm imagining you scared, but doing it anyway.

Emily: 22:54

Oh yeah,

Leslie: 22:54

I mean that's what's happening

Emily: 22:55

right now. And like, before every session, even my last session, I was talking to one of my friends afterwards and I was like, Ugh, I just get so much anxiety before each session and I'm like kind of Winging it a little bit. I do a lot of planning, but sometimes I wing stuff and I feel awkward. And I even say, I'm like, sorry guys, I'm so socially awkward and all this stuff, I'm so anxious. And then she's like, are you kidding me? I thought that was all, like, amazing, like, and it just, like, just like, get out of your own head. You know, and it's so hard to do. It's really easy to, whoo. Think the way you always think. And for me, I've always been a more negative thinker. And it just doesn't take you anywhere. It just keeps you in the same places, the same sad, frustrating, boring places. And flipping to that positive mindset, just believing, not even positive, not the false positivity and stuff, but Truly believing that things can work out for you and trusting, I really do believe in trusting the universe and what wavelength are you on? Where do you want to be? How do you get there? And believing, trusting that you can get there. You can do that yourself and with other people.

Leslie: 24:27

Um, what I hear from you is this real intention around shifting your thinking and an awareness of, I tend to think more negative, that's not serving me, so I'm going to shift that and I'm going to put my trust in this universe that we're all a part of, that as I shift. My thoughts that my outcomes are gonna change as a result.

Emily: 24:58

Yeah, and I believe in manifesting too. And I also believe, just in the basic logic of it, if you say something's gonna happen, and you make yourself believe it's gonna happen, you're subconsciously gonna take the actions to get to that place. It's just a matter of, Figuring out what do I want? What do I want to manifest? What do I want my life to look like for the people around me? It is being intentional.

Leslie: 25:28

Right. Which, I just got goosebumps here because earlier you said, Your girlfriend came to you and said we need to do this thing, or you need to do this thing. And you already had a name. It's as if you manifested that. I did because

Emily: 25:50

in high school, I was such like an existentialist. Like, I feel like high school was just one big existential crisis for me. Because of purpose and like, you know, I'm going into college soon. I have to figure out my career. It was just all so scary and I felt, I knew what I wanted to do. I was like, if I could do anything, I see myself leading a group of women Something with mental health, but I don't really want to become a therapist or, you know, that kind of stuff. Like, I saw it in my head, and then I just dismissed it. I was like, maybe that can happen one day, but realistically, I'm gonna have to go different ways.

Leslie: 26:40

Yeah.

Emily: 26:40

And so, to be here now, Is really special. I mean, it's not my career. I am trying to turn it into that. Yeah. Yeah. I recently like got my llc And i'm starting to Plan workshops out. I'm doing my first collaboration with a non profit centers of wellness for urban women I'm doing a writing workshop with them. I love that. Yeah, and i'm like getting paid for it, which is amazing Yes So I would love for that to be my full time You Bang and like I can manifest that and like one day it can happen But it's it's really crazy to think about how in high school. I imagined that and then just pushed it down

Leslie: 27:24

Yeah, and then it came to you. Yeah. Yeah,

Emily: 27:27

and yeah, I just feel like it is a matter of Getting out of your own head Doing it even if you are scared. Yeah, well if you're and you don't believe in yourself, I feel like believe in yourself is Most of the battle,

Leslie: 27:41

okay You

Emily: 27:42

I do.

Leslie: 27:43

So how did you take us through the first group that you hosted? Cause that was probably, I am imagining the biggest fear that you faced maybe. I was very nervous. Yes. Um, but, but even sending the invite or however you got people there, what was it? Walk us through what you were thinking and how you pushed through it.

Emily: 28:08

I remember I was So anxious, so scared. Even to address the group of people there. Um, but we did it in my friend's cafe. Gaia Cafe in Botanical. And It was a good crowd. It was like 15 ish people

Leslie: 28:29

that showed up. So how did you get them there? Cause did the fear happen before too? Oh yeah, I mean it's always

Emily: 28:37

happening. Like it doesn't go away and it's not gonna go away. It's just a matter of if you're gonna let it affect you or derail you or not.

Leslie: 28:46

Well and the reason why I want to go before is once you say you're doing it, you're doing it. It's kind of, not easier, but you have to do it, right? Yeah. So it's the commitment to do it, which in my mind is when you send the invite out. I posted

Emily: 29:06

about it. I always just post on my Instagram about it. And yeah, at that point I had like, I can't remember if I just published, I don't know, I just published one. So I was always kind of, kind of establishing myself as. Like a writer, so I had naturally people who followed me who were also writers and, you know. So I just posted on Instagram and on Eventbrite. I do that with everything. And just asking people to share it on their stories as well, and invite people, invite friends to it. And it's so amazing, like, people who showed up at that first one, like, still come, and that makes me so happy. I bet. And just gaining new people along the way. But I remember being so scared and walking in and even as I was like thanking everyone for coming and explaining what we were going to do and stuff, my voice was so quiet and it was very, very shaky, but I did it, but I said it, like, you know, speak even if your voice shakes and that continued like happening, like I would still have anxiety and be scared To talk until until I wasn't yeah, it's doing it until

Leslie: 30:24

You got it. That's right. Yeah How can Those that are listening learn more about can on Instagram or the group where can they go?

Emily: 30:36

Yeah, so I actually just started a separate page on Now that writings from her corner is becoming more of a business like for the community So that page is writingsfromhercorner.org.

Leslie: 30:50

Okay,

Emily: 30:51

my Instagram is just Writings From Her Corner

Leslie: 30:54

Okay, I will put that on the in the show notes for those listening as well.

Emily: 31:00

Yeah, and I'm always posting about My upcoming dates One big way that I actually got into the literary community is working with Indiana Humanities Really? Yeah, I they host the Indiana Authors Awards So as an intern a lot of my job was I was interviewing authors and going to different bookstores and that year, last year, like three new bookstores popped up and it seemed like the community was really starting to thrive and I just was like, Oh my God, this is such a beautiful community. Things are happening and like no one really knows about it. Like how do you get people to know about things? I don't know. It's hard. Yeah, I know. I was just going back to, you know, Your purpose, like, it's not just selling books or whatever. Like, I just find like the more human you are with things and the more real you are with things, the better, you know, just the authenticity of everything. You know, you just

Leslie: 32:11

attract what you put out, I feel like. I agree.

Emily: 32:14

I feel like a lot of it's just listening to your intuition. Yeah. And there's so much noise that can drown that out.

Leslie: 32:24

Right. Yeah. Yeah. So, looking forward, are there other things that you see in your future?

Emily: 32:33

Yeah, I would love to do this in more communities. I'm just doing this in downtown Indianapolis. I would like to do it in other places in Indiana and maybe outside of Indiana. And I would like to develop workshops and be able to partner with organizations, especially nonprofits. Nonprofits just have such a special place in my heart. And that's, yeah, I would just love to do that and I would love to obviously keep writing and keep publishing, self publishing, and helping other people do that too.

Leslie: 33:14

Okay. Yeah, I

Emily: 33:16

want to be, I want to see the people that come to my group. Do stuff with their writing and they are, it's so nice. They'll come in and like, we always check in like, have you been writing recently and stuff? And a lot of times it's like, no, but, and then they leave and then they come back and they're like, I have been now. Cause like, I was inspired. Right. You know, it's just putting yourself in those kind of positions. It's just, it's very heartwarming. I just love the connections and, That's where I want to see myself keep going, just keep on building the community and welcoming more people in.

Leslie: 33:56

Yeah.

Emily: 33:57

Yeah, that's the important part for me, I feel like.

Leslie: 34:00

Yes, yeah. So you've shared your purpose of helping people heal through community and writing, and how you've discovered it and all of that. I've, I've sensed as you've talked about your purpose, um, some of the feelings that might come with it, but how does it make you feel?

Emily: 34:24

Warm. And like, magical. I always leave the sessions feeling like I can't explain what happens. It just kind of feels like magic, in a way. And honestly, I feel like so much of that is just magical. Having a space where people can be vulnerable. It's hard to do.

Leslie: 34:46

Yeah.

Emily: 34:46

Even like one on one with people or whatever. Even being vulnerable yourself and with yourself is hard. So when you have a group of people together who can really open up and receive support, it just lifts the energy up. You're just brought to a higher place, I feel like. Yeah. Yeah, I think there's a lot of strength in coming together, especially with women. We go through so much of this, so many similar things. A lot of hard things in coming together. It just, it makes you feel like you can handle things. Yeah. Versus alone, it's hard to feel. Like you can handle things when you're alone. Right. And I felt like I was alone for a lot of my life, most of my life. And I don't really feel that way anymore.

Leslie: 35:42

Yeah. Yeah. So you've shared a lot of, feelings that are positive. Mm hmm. Are, are there any negatives to deal with when you're living in your purpose? Mm hmm.

Emily: 35:58

I

Leslie: 35:58

mean, yeah.

Emily: 36:00

You know, imposter syndrome. It's like, who am I to lead a group of people? What credentials do I have? It's like, well, I have some credentials, yeah, just feeling like you're not good enough. Yeah. Yeah. Thinking, I don't know, just doubting yourself.

Leslie: 36:22

Yeah.

Emily: 36:24

Especially when you do something that's different. Kind of out of the norm. You know, you're taking a risk. It can be really scary, especially if it fails. You know, and like coming on here for me was a risk as well. I was like, it can either go really good or maybe it won't go good. And I'll be really sad, but it's a risk I have to take, right? Because, yeah, I could go bad, but it could also go really great. Yeah. So just, yeah, just a lot of self doubt. The fear.

Leslie: 36:59

The anxiety. And those things are things in our heads. They're things in our thoughts that we make up, you know?

Emily: 37:08

Yeah. And then once you, I feel like once you start putting things out there into the universe, you just start attracting things. Like, that's actually how my first book came to be, because I was talking out loud about how I wanted to write a book. And, you know, like our phones kind of listen to us. So, like, I mean, that's like public knowledge. I got, like, an ad for, a poetry, challenge. And then they, like, 21 day challenge. And then they would publish your book. And I was, like, super depressed that day. Like, laying in bed, doom scrolling. And I came across that. And I was like, oh, I can do this. And it just took taking that step that leads you to so many. It's, like, so much of. Taking the first step and having the courage to just keep taking the steps You know, even if you don't know where they're gonna lead

Leslie: 38:00

right? Yeah. Yeah get out of your head and into action. Yeah. Yes It's hard And

Emily: 38:10

might go poor but also might go great.

Leslie: 38:13

Yeah, absolutely Yeah, Do it even if you're scared take the step, one step forward and then the next. Yeah. So what advice do you have for those that are listening that, are where you were and just asking those questions about What am I here to do? And in all of that, what's your advice?

Emily: 38:39

Definitely get out of your own head. You know, we grow up and we have such limiting beliefs, not just about ourselves, but also about the world and about other people, relationships. And it takes a lot of healing to get past all those limiting beliefs and to start. Believing that there is good out there, and you can also do good things. It's stepping out of your comfort zone, and exploring things you might not like. It can lead you to things that you do like. Listening to your intuition, I think is really important. And, knowing you're not alone. You always hear that, you're not alone, even when you feel like you really are, but like truly opening up to people, to the right people, can really make a huge difference in your life. Yeah, and it takes a lot of strength and courage to do that, especially when you try opening up and not being alone. Sometimes if it's not to the right people, You're still gonna feel alone. Right. And it might take going to different places and spaces and events to figure out where you might find the right people. Right.

Leslie: 40:10

Well, and you created it.

Emily: 40:11

Yeah. And if you can't find it, create it. Yeah.

Leslie: 40:14

Yeah.

Emily: 40:16

Like there's, there is space. A place for everyone. I do feel like absolutely for everyone. It's just a matter of Finding it or creating it

Leslie: 40:27

Right. Yeah. Yes Is there anything left unsaid on the topic of life's purpose?

Emily: 40:35

It can feel so so daunting and overwhelming And even I get wrapped up In it Oh, I'm not making enough money. My job isn't aligning exactly with what I want to do. It's, it's just the mindset. You just gotta shift. So many times I spend hours worrying so much about a particular event or something. And then that event will happen, and it went perfectly fine. It's like that was all for nothing. Like sometimes you are kind of creating your own, right? You're putting yourself in a cage and it's hard to recognize that and to break out of it. That's hard. Yeah. But you can do hard things. Life's purpose doesn't have to be this big, overwhelming, daunting thing. And it doesn't have to be one answer, that's the answer for your whole life. Or something that means so much, you know, it can be something so small as every day I want to make someone smile or just feel content for an hour of my day, you know, it doesn't have to be something so big.

Leslie: 41:56

Absolutely. I think that is wise words. Emily, thank you so much for being on Purpose Project. I am taking so much away from this conversation.

Emily: 42:09

So,

Leslie: 42:13

As a mother, I couldn't help but reflect on the weight that young adults carry as they step into their independence. The big questions about life's purpose can feel overwhelming, even paralyzing. Emily's story got me thinking, how can we make life's purpose feel less heavy and more accessible? How can we frame it as a journey? That's fluid. That's personal. That's within reach for everyone, no matter where they are in life. Emily, thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your story. And more importantly, thank you for being a role model to us in living a life with courage and purpose. And to everyone listening, thank you for tuning in. Until next time, take care of yourselves and keep exploring your life's purpose. Purpose Project is brought to you for education and for entertainment purposes. This podcast is not intended to replace the advice that you would receive from a licensed therapist or doctor or any other qualified professional.