S1E5: Do It Even If You're Scared with Janeva Shaw-Mims

In this episode of Purpose Project, host Leslie Pagel interviews Janeva Shaw-Mims, an amazing woman who, among other things, is a full-spectrum doula and community advocate. Janeva shares her inspiring journey, detailing how her personal experiences with grief, survival of sexual abuse, and becoming a mother shaped her path toward advocacy. She shares how her life’s journey helped her discover her purpose. Janeva emphasizes the importance of taking action, even when scared, and offers practical advice on breaking down big goals into small steps. Additionally, she touches on the evolving nature of life’s purpose and the significance of self-care. Listeners are encouraged to pursue their passions and embrace their purpose with kindness and determination.

00:00 Introduction to Purpose Project

00:14 Meet Janeva Shaw-Mims

01:45 What is a Full-Spectrum Doula?

06:28 Janeva's Personal Journey and Advocacy

08:43 Defining Life's Purpose

12:32 Advocacy and Community Involvement

15:26 Janeva's Defining Moments

23:27 Overcoming Fear and Taking Action

29:10 The Importance of Mentorship

30:54 Living Your Purpose

34:51 Advice for Finding Your Purpose

38:43 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Resources:

National Coalition of 100 Black Women: https://ncbw.org/

You can reach Janeva on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janevashaw/

Purpose Project is a research study on the topic of life's purpose. You can follow along in the making of Purpose Project:
Instagram: @purpose.project
LinkedIn: @purposeproject-media
TikTok: @purpose.project

Captions are auto-generated.

Transcript

0:04

Hi, and welcome to Purpose Project. My name is Leslie Pagel, and I cannot wait for you to hear the story that we have to share today. Today, we have an amazing woman on the show. Her name is Janeva Shaw Mims, and Janeva Had me feeling like I could accomplish anything after our conversation. Seriously, anything. She is just one of those people who, when she puts her minds towards something, she puts her energy behind it. And next thing you know, she's out there doing it. And she made me feel like. I could be that woman too. I cannot wait for you to be inspired by Janeva like I was. So let's get started.

Leslie: 0:50

Janeva, thank you so much for being here with me today. I'm looking forward to our conversation. Me too, you're welcome. Thank you for inviting me. Absolutely. Absolutely. Before we just dig into the topic of purpose, tell us, who is Janeva? Okay, that, that question always gets me. But, who I am, I am from Benton Harbor, Michigan, which is right on the lake. I am a tiger, so that's what our mascot was. I graduated from Michigan State University, so I'm a Spartan. Um, I owe them lots of dollars, so I claim. Them quite a bit. Um, and I'm a mother, I'm a sister, a daughter, and a really good friend. I'm a doula. Okay. And a community activist and advocate. Can you say a little bit more about what a doula is just in case people aren't familiar? Yeah, a doula. I'm a full spectrum doula. what a doula is, is a person who supports So you you a family or the birthing person during their journey and their pregnancy. So that can be prenatal, during the birth and after the birth. What I, I'm not a medical professional, but what I do do is provide emotional supports, education and advocacy along that journey.,so just to give a like practical Um, by example, when you're pregnant and you become pregnant, you would reach out to me around like three or four months and then we would start doing education around what's going to happen during your pregnancy, the stages, if you're having morning sickness, I can provide like holistic options and care around that. when you're going to the hospital, helping you choose the best hospital or birthing options, do you want to birth at home? You want to go to the hospital or birthing center, um, some other practical things are comfort measures. So practicing what that looks like, because when you get into labor, you don't just automatically know what to do. And so teaching and showing those things. So educate childbirth education, a big one that people that I enjoyed most about being a doula is the birthing experience. And so, if you go like a traditional route to the hospital, typically your nurses are on staff, but they're coming in and out because they have to take care of other people on the floor. And the doctor typically comes in when it's time for you to labor. Right, right. Your doula stays with you the entire time. Very nice. So, um, typically we're not only supporting that birthing person, we're supporting their partner, their family members, and then after the labor. We stay the entire time until you decide like first feeding whether that's breast, or we stay until that first feeding. Um, and then if you want postpartum services, then you're coming to the home to help support the family in that way. So they can be washing dishes, folding clothes, watching the other kids, creating a system, reaching out to your network, and making sure that they're bringing food to you. So it can really look like whatever is the best option And support for that family. Wow. And then also watching your health, like, black women are three to four times more likely to die from pregnancy related or childbirth related. Three times. Three times. Wow. Three to four times more likely to die compared to white women. That is, is shocking to me. And we have the highest, the maternal death rate here in Indiana. Oh yeah. Yep, for sure. Wow. So. So that makes it even more heightened for Black women and for Black dula. I support those mothers in like, recognizing when they're having postpartum concerns. Whether that's with their body, whether that's with you know, what if they're having issues with their health, high blood pressure, signs that they would not recognize, I can help recognize. And some things show up differently based on your demographic. And so being able to identify that and provide resources is very important. A voice in the room. another piece is like the birthing plan, like creating, helping create a birth plan that supports that family on what they want during labor. And then sharing that with the staff, so that you can help have that conversation and collaborate with staff. So, um, a doula is not like, people think that you're like in a battle with, um, staff in the hospital. It's typically not. Like, The goal is to, it's a partner. The goal is to go in as a partnership, but also to be an advocate for that family. So if that staff is not doing something that is in support of that birthing plan, then my role is to help advocate or help that person advocate for their needs. And so you do sometimes have to take a stance, which looks like not at staff, but the goal is to go in and. You know, I ask the nurses, like, where's all the supplies, you know, what do I need to do? What do you need help with? And then I take it from there as much as I can. Wow. Okay, sJanevava is Close to family. Yeah, a lot of family. Yeah. I heard a bit of community where you're from, your school pride and that. Yeah. And a caregiver to others, you know, with your role as a doula. Yeah. Yeah, that doula role is the big deal. And then I'm also a person who has experienced grief of a parent. So I lost of a parent. And so that also is who I am. That has defined me. My mother passed in 2016. I'm the oldest of four. So my brother and my two sisters, they're twins. They're fraternal. but when my mom passed, they were 17. They had just graduated high school. And my brother lives in Georgia. And so, I was a caregiver for my mother during her transition. And that shaped how I view, being the oldest and stepping into that role and, how people deal with grief and how we talk about it. And my own brief journey of going to grief counseling and coming out of that on the other side. Yeah. And how I then, um, ended up with a village of people who also lost their mother and we all just ended up being connected. Um, and then supporting each other through that. And now when I meet people most like lost their, their parent or their mother recently, like being able to step into that, supportive role, mentorship role, if you will, to help guide them through, this is what grief stages of grief look like. We don't talk about things. As much as we should. Yeah. So a part of my doula journey as well is, I want to, I've already started the journey of becoming the end of life doula, which then circles the same way in that birthing experience, but the end of life, like having families through that transition. And that may look like some non traditional things like having, services differently or ceremony. Different ways that you can support children based on their age when they're going through some type of grief. Because everyone's, you know, how they're receiving it and experiencing it is different. Right, right. And so, a doula can be any kind of doula. Okay, okay. So full spectrum, I can support families through adoption, fertility, miscarriage, birth, and end of life. Right. Super cool stuff. An amazing woman. Thank you. Is what I'm hearing as well. Thank you so much. So, let's get into the topic of life's purpose. Yeah, that is like a, when you, when people talk about purpose, don't you feel like it can get overwhelming? Yeah. Like, it, you get into your head about it. Like, what is my purpose? What am I, am I doing the right things? Should I be doing this? Should I be doing that? And it can become daunting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You always hear about it. It's always the thing to do. But I, I will be 40 in September and I realized that my purpose lies in other things that we kind of talked about, like who I am. And so I tend to lean towards my purpose being around whatever my passions are. And so that can flow across various different things. But the common theme is, advocacy. Okay. That's what I found. Like, the common theme among all, finding ways to create pathways for others, or finding ways to provide resources, finding ways to uplift people and give them what they may be missing. I have an eye for seeing, a complex problem, And then where is the gap and what do you need right there are connecting you to the right person or the right resource to get there. So I think my, and some of that is like soft, like skills that are not hard skills. Like I don't know how to do hair. I don't know how to sing. And I used to think those are the things that make you cool or give you purpose. And these people actually can experience. On the other end of that, people do experience my support, my help, and my impact in their lives. And so, I think my purpose, what I've landed at, is that my purpose is to provide those resources to people that don't have them. That's what fills me up when I see a change or that person come out on the other side. It's like something I actually can, that I can see and that's practical. Like something you actually can do. And so, I used to think no big deal. That's, I'm just helping people. I also have learned along the way. Other people, some people don't like helping other people. It's work. It's work to help others. It is, it can be exhausting. Yeah. That is, uh, You are on call, the last one. Like two weeks of that person's pregnancy because I can go into like any time and you you're there the entire time so your job is to Keep them motivated right during that during them, or Or in making sure that they have the things that they need and it can be tiring but that's your job That's your purpose at that moment. So I realized that After Going through those experiences with the families that I've supported and hearing back from them that I wouldn't have been able to do that without you. Um, I don't know how my birth would have turned out if you weren't there or things like that. It's like, okay, that, that feels me right. So then that, then it becomes my purpose. Oh, yes. Okay. So I hear your purpose is to be an advocate for people in need, which suggests that. You're also one that's looking for when people are in need and recognizing it. And then you're there for them. And you're a connector to help them get what they need or an ear and shoulder for them to lean on. Yeah, yeah, shameless plug to National Coalition of 100 Black Women, Indianapolis chapter. I am in that organization. I joined last year. That is an opportunity that I seek to help support people in my community. And so that is a nonprofit that focuses on supporting black girls and black women and through free programming. So everything we do is free for the community. And those programs stem around, economics, education, mental health, public policy. I think I'm missing a couple, it's a lot. But they, it covers the board. And our job is to advocate. So we're, it's not community service. We're doing advocacy through change. So through programming, through partnering with other community partners. what I'm, on public policy committee now, we are driving the, Go Vote campaign. Yeah. Supporting those different efforts of not we're not telling you who to vote for right? Telling you like to get out and vote your vote matters and educating youth about voting and the process of the system And how how do you vote and why do you vote? and so I found that I do seek out opportunities where I can be in the community that impacts me and find where the gaps again Where the there are problems with housing disparity here in Indiana like we have I don't know the number, but we are on one of the, on the high end of, evictions where families get, yeah, get put out from the home, which then what leads to homelessness. And then leads to people not being able to get a job. And then it creates this vicious cycle of not being able to be stable. And that always impacts black and brown people the most and so My goal is to step into those spaces and learn what the problem is and then how do I? Fill the gap who do I connect you to what type of program in our education? Can I provide to you? along with these other Beautiful successful and smart women that are creating these programs We will drop a link to the site in the show notes as well for those who are interested in learning more. Yeah, that would be perfect. And sponsoring us. Yes, and sponsoring us. Shameless was plugging you. So, you mentioned earlier, Janeva, that you have found, as you've thought about life's purpose, that, that it evolves with your passions and your interests and things like that. But now you've identified this kind of advocacy as a purpose of yours. How did that come about? Was there a defining moment in your life or how did you acknowledge that this is the purpose? So many defining moments in my life, like I always reflect back on how did I, how did I get to where I am today? The things that I've been through, some people don't come out on the other side of things. Some, you know, we live in a world that is, that's hard. And it's hard on us. It's hard on women. And it's hard on you, harder on you if you come from a community, socioeconomic status. And low income and that's how I grew up. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that you have more barriers against you and so I think three things that all kind of wrap into what I do today it's how I advocate and why I have such a passion for my community for people Um, and why I step into those spaces It's because one as a child I, I was, uh, I am a survivor of sexual abuse and so I survived to that and I got to college, which other people don't get to, so I went to a big 10, and during that time at my, at school, I became pregnant. I was 19, my third year of college and everybody thought I was going to drop out. It's like, well, it's hard, right? When you stay in school with this baby. and I did not, I had a lot of supports around me, a lot of people who wanted to see me win. And so that helps me realize that I'm bigger than what I, you know, what I'm seeing is bigger than that. I have a bigger purpose. I need to follow through and continue to go to school. I'm supposed to be here. And so, during that time with me being pregnant and also, being a survivor of sexual abuse, a lot of things come up when you become pregnant. Like, you go into this space of, I'm about to be a mother, I need to get things in order. I'm about to be a parent, I'm bringing a life into the world. And that's what shifted me to go into counseling. And so that was the first time that I actually went into therapy. And during that time I learned coping skills and I learned, resources and I recognized triggers and all the kind of things people like we talk about. I've actually learned it. My therapist was big on, self reflection, self awareness. She was, she was about 75. She was an older person and so a mentor wise. Um, and so she was very much about teaching me about every cycle and every trigger and she wanted me to read. And so the more I learned, the more I thought, man, this is like life changing, this brings you out, on the other side of despair when you thought you couldn't see. and so, that was like my first introduction into like mental health how that and how all of the things you go through impact your decision making and why you think the way you do it, why you make that decision that you shouldn't have made, how it impacts your brain chemistry, all the trauma and all that stuff. And so that's when I learned that and that's when I became passionate about. How do I advocate for the voiceless or people who don't know those things? So I became a case manager, worked with children, families. I worked for CPS. I worked for, uh, well, Child Protective Services. If you don't know what that is, I worked for Child Protective Services. I worked in corrections. I worked with, mental health facilities. And so Touching all of those different facets. I learned so much more about people but also learned so much more about gaps and problems so that kind of gave me my like my early life in my 20s and then the second part to that is I experienced I was a doula before I was a doula so You know, your friends and family, your cousins, sisters, they all have babies. And you go in the room with them and you support them. We all do that. There's some part of you that has either came over and held the baby while mom could sleep. Like, you are supporting that person, during their time of need. I had, a really close friend of mine who almost died. After childbirth due to the doctors not recognizing that she had help syndrome, which is like a disease that Impacts your liver when you're pregnant. Wow And they did not listen to her. She had all the symptom signs of telling them She was having headaches during her pregnancy. She had a lot of trauma after the pregnancy a lot of blood loss and that When that happens there were some other incidents I have my own Issues when I gave birth to my oldest and Cousins and sisters and like the way people show up in the room, right? And don't listen to you when you're telling them what's wrong with me. So i've experienced those things, but this was different, right? watching someone go through that and Almost lose their life When they're just trying to have a baby. Oh my gosh that changed my life. So that's was another reason that Kind of made me say what can I do about this and then I learned about being a good look Okay, so that was the second piece And then the third Thing is my grief journey losing my mother also opened up that space. Uh, that's a community of people Who are grieving and don't necessarily? Know how to deal with it or have not We just like, Oh, get over it, but it's a part of life. but it's a trauma. And so those were, I think, three things, three big things that shape the way that I interact with people, the way that I, support people, the way that I advocate, the way that I provide education and messaging behind the things that I'm compassionate about. Yes. So, I, I heard very clear moments that helped shape you, but what I also heard very loud was the movement into action. Yeah. You went to action, which I'm curious because I think some people might know what they're meant to do, but don't go for it. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. What do you think it is about you that puts you into action instead of you know what? I think I'm a researcher. I like to, I'm a lifelong learner. Okay. I got my, my master's degree and I don't even know why. Like, I just wanted to learn some new stuff. Like part of it was like, I just wanted to learn some new things. So I started off with getting my master's in, HR management. And I decided that was boring. And so then I went back. I took a break. So during that time, my mom was sick too. So I stopped going to school. And then when I went back to school, I said, I'm going to do something. I just want to learn about it. It was about leadership and organizational leadership and management. And those are things that I'm passionate about, right? Leadership and leaders and everything that I'm doing today. It takes leadership skills. And so I wanted to And so I think a part of it is like, one, what are you passionate about? It doesn't have to be something that's going to change the world tomorrow. It can be that I'm passionate about learning about flowers. And then I'm going to go learn about flowers. And then I'm going to go get some flowers and practice taking care of them. Because I've learned these things about how to take care of flowers. Right, right. Try it. And if you are scared, don't tell anybody. Just try it by yourself. Right. There you go. Yeah. Just try it out. Just try it. Try it. Like, what's the saying? It's like, do it scared. Do it even though you're scared. Um, because. I love that. Yeah. Do it even though you're scared. Yes. Yeah. Just do it anyway because here's back to the journey of grief. My mother passed away at 58, which is young. And it was unexpected. She was not sick. She got sick and all of this kind of took a spiral in about a three to four month span. And so, with that happening, My mother, two things, she was a fun person, lively, smart, but she worked jobs like kind of like in corporate, like kind of like work jobs that she really didn't like, but she had kids. when she got a little older though, my sisters got older, she transitioned into being a seamstress. She has always made her own clothes since a little girl, she Barbie clothes and so she always told us about that. She was always good with her hands So she was uh, her passion was sewing. Okay, her passion was knitting quilting she could make something from scratch like a suit, and so That was her passion, and so when my sisters got older she transitioned into that doing That at a bridal shop. Okay, and then she learned a lot of skills Um, and they paid for her to take some courses and she learned some more stuff. And then she went into business for herself. And that was the happiest that I saw my mom. Like, now granted, she wasn't making as much money as she was. But she was doing the things she loved. She was doing what she loved. And that was the happiest I saw her. The second piece to that is when my mother did get sick, she shared with me she wished she would have been there earlier. The other thing that she said was that there was a lot of things that she didn't do out of fear. Uh, scared what people would think about her. Right. Or scared that she would fail, or, scared that, you know, it wouldn't work out the way she thought it would, but I wish I would've tried. And so what I took from that was that she did hold some regrets. And what she shared was with me was that she didn't want us to do that. And so. Today I really try to practice living on purpose and so I I say that a lot to my to my kids now like live on purpose like live it out see what happens and make it you can fail you can mess it up because You can just fix it. And if you don't fail or make the mistake, you didn't learn anything Exactly. So it's hard though to do that. It's hard to tell yourself that when you have people depending on you, you all the time You know, you have all these thoughts around fear, and so I get it because i've been in that place before. Yeah um, but I do think when when you at least try It's one step towards a goal every day It's the other thing that I try to do like if I just do one thing towards that big every day every day one thing Just one step. What would be an example of like a thing? So I would give an example of when I wanted to be a doula You I started with like, okay, what is a doula? Like, so the first thing was research. So I did a rabbit hole of that. The second thing is like, are there any doulas that I could talk to? Right. So like, reach out to that person and meet them. And then it's like, do an interview with them. Ask them, can you tag along? And another thing is like, okay, you gotta do the business part. And that was the hard part for me. Like, I did not I want to do that. Like I want to do the LLC and all those things. So that was a piece that I had to, like, one thing every day, I gotta think of a name, brain dump a bunch of names down, then the next day I was like sending it to my friends, like, what y'all think about this? What did you think? And then after we picked the name, now I gotta do a logo. Oh, does the name and the logo, logo together? Why did you pick, you know, a peacock in, you know, whatever. Right? And so I think it's like. You break it down into steps so it's not so big uhhuh. You break it down into pieces so it's not so big. And, and once you get in that path and you get in there, how are you gonna, you, you have to do it to see if you like it or not. Because you might think you like it. And then you don't. And then you don't. Yeah. And you don't. But you took so long trying it. Exactly. Yeah. Now you don't know. So how long did that process take you? Ooh, for, I would say for being a doula. The education, the business, like the business part I think took me longer. Like, the education, I was all about, like, doing it all by myself. That was fast. But when it was time to, like, take the test to get certified and do, I was dragging it. I mean, dragging it. And so, I would say that probably took me, like, eight months to do. Eight months? That's that long? Yeah, but it could have been done quicker. Yeah, like eight months? Well, like, so I had my logo and I had my Business name. Right. But I didn't do the registering. I didn't like, yeah. I don't know. Some of it is like anxiety of like, right. You know how you have a list of things to do and you just look at the list. Right. Yeah. I don't know where to start. Well, and it's, I mean, I imagine some of it was things that you didn't know how to do. I didn't know how to do, which is scary. And then it's like, am I gonna do this? Am I doing it right? It's a business. This official, what I did do in those moments though, was I reached out to other people who had did it before Uhhuh, and so that, that gave me some confidence. I'm like, oh, okay. Or they told me how they messed it up and like, oh, don't do it like this. because it'll take longer, or whatever it was. And so another piece to finding, I think is connecting with people that are already doing that thing that you think you're interested in. Like that mentorship, that sponsorship. Um, getting connected to those people or that community. And then most people, I tell this to my, to my teens, like most people wanna mentor, mentor you. Most people absolutely are willing to reach out their hand and pull you into the room or connect you to somebody else. You just have to ask. If you don't ask it, it's gonna be a no. Yeah. You know, if you don't ask, it's a no. Yeah, that's, that is perfect. Yeah. It's a no now, regardless. Right. By default, because you didn't even ask. And if they say no, it's okay because it's like 50 more people that you can ask. Exactly. Yeah. The same questions. So I heard, one step every day. One step every day. Do it scared. Do it even if you're, yeah. Do it even if you're scared. Um, and. Keep at it and connect with other people who are already doing look for mentors and in eight months you could change You could change your I mean change your trajectory. Yeah, probably in less than But eight months isn't very long if you think about you know coming into a new year thinking about what do I want to do this year and You know if you're doing something every day towards that goal And you're connecting with people and learning from them along the way. Doing it even if you're scared. There's so many people doing cool things that want to probably see you do cool things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you're out there living your purpose, how does that make you feel? Happy. empowered. I think that's a good word, like empowered, because it's like, again, I'm not going to change the world, but I'm impacting somebody's life, I'm impacting someone, and that impact will then impact somebody else, similar to when you think about, like, it takes a village, or when we're thinking through, breaking generational curses and things like that, it's like you, I'm learning something so that my daughter doesn't have to learn it. Yeah, and then when I teach that to her, I've, I've prepped some privilege that I didn't have. Right. Exactly. And so when you figure out your purpose or that person already, that person you're connected with knows their purpose, they're helping you identify your purpose. And so we are all helping each other get there. And so we have to, you know, be open to that. Don't, don't, don't shut down the possibility that you're not going to figure it out in one day. It's a journey. Again, trying new things. What is your passion? What makes you feel good? What empowers you? What drives you to get up every day? Like something that you could do for free. Right. I guess. Right. I hear people say that too. Like, I could sit around and talk about, being a doula and supporting and ideas and brainstorm all day about it. Like how we could, create programming for new parents. And no one would have to pay me. I would be happy doing that. Because I would be helping a family do a better job than maybe I did when I was learning how to be a parent. and it also can make you tired. It can make you tired. Right. So you have to take care of yourself. You have to be aware that like, when it's time for you to take a rest, because you're a parent, if you are living in your purpose. Typically you're pouring into someone else, you're not just pouring into yourself, you're pouring into others. Yeah, and so Making sure that you take care of yourself and you're doing the things for you so you can continue to live in the purpose and yeah, i'm glad you mentioned that because I do think some people pursuing their purpose Are they go, you know 360 or whatever, you know and just go go go And they don't always know or take the time to take care of themselves. Yeah. But that's important to, for the longevity of your purpose. Yes. You have to take care of yourself and you, you are no good to anyone taking care of yourself. Right. So your first purpose really in life is to take care of yourself. Yeah. That is your first purpose. Then your second purpose is what those passions are. Right. Right. And, uh. You know cultivating those passions and helping them grow and then it turns into your purpose So I think that's like how I got here is like What am I passionate about and those things that you get passionate about? It can come from like that. Some of the things I shared are painful. They're hard They're not always joyful, but they turn into your purpose. They turn into the things That define you that shape you and help you be A testimony or help you be Like a lesson for someone else And so those those things can be hard about purpose but it if you do it and you believe in it And you're true to it, then you'll come out on the other side Like you you'll be you will still feel fulfilled right at the end of it, right? Love it. People are watching us and You They might be at different stages in finding their purpose or realizing it. What advice do you have for someone out there who's just like, I don't know. I don't know what my purpose is. I don't know how to get started. Yeah, I did not know for a long time. Like I'm talking about it today from a place of and other people helping me see. My purpose. other people helping me recognize some of the ways that I have helped them or impacted them. And that's what helped me say, like, Oh, that's my, like, that's my purpose. That's what I'm here for. That's what I'm doing. And, and again, it doesn't have to be one thing. So I would say,,don't be so hard on yourself to come up with something that's, that's a defined, like, it defines. Think about what drives your passion. So what, what keeps you up at night? You know, you're thinking about it. Your purpose might be your kids, right? Like it doesn't always have to be. Yeah. Cause that is another one of my purposes. Like my purpose is, yeah. To care for your family and help them grow. It's actually the most, one of the more common ones that I've heard, not on the podcast, but when I've just been talking with people is my purpose right now with where I'm at in life is to care for my kids, to care for my kids. And so it could be your purpose could be self aware while when I talked about my grief journey, if we kind of look back on it, I had, I've defined three different, um, Things that defined me, defined my purposes, but those were at that time when my mother was sick, everything went on hold. I quit my job. I sent my daughter, my oldest daughter to her dad for the summer and I took care of my mother and that was my purpose at that time. I love my daughter. I visited her on the weekends and I visited her throughout the week and I still spend time with her, but I was not being her full on parent. At that moment because I was taking care of my mom. Yeah, and so that can look Like that for you right my purpose today is If if if you were like, I really want to go back to school That could be your purpose right one step at a time. You fill out your research. What do you what? Major do you want to do? what school is what's the cost? What's the scholarships? Look at all the things Connect with people who have done that degree Apply. Go out your fafsa. So like all of that, like that journey could be some months, or some weeks or whatever. But that's an example of like, that might be your purpose at the time because that's your interest. Exactly. Or that's your passion. Like I really want to get my high school diploma and you know. Took so long to do it. I don't know if I can but that is something that's nagging that she was keeping you up at night That's your purpose. Yep. I love it. Think about what's keeping you up at night. What's in the back of your head? What is just like Talking to you it's talking to you and go do a thing go one thing every day one thing every day and then that purpose then so now i'm i'm giving this example i'm a You know 33 year old person who now I got my high school diploma as an adult learner and I did this now your purpose is to go back and share with others like you can go get your diploma, too. I did it. This is how I did it. And now you are fulfilling this purpose of teaching Mentoring giving back and that person now has you To help them fulfill their next. Yeah, right So it's like we are we are here to do that for each other if we think about it like that. Absolutely I would love that.,is there anything else on the topic of purpose that we haven't talked about that's important to speak to? No, I just, I just encourage all of you to, be gentle with yourself. Be gentle, be kind, um, give yourself grace as you're going through that journey of figuring it out. And once you're figuring it out. Don't pressure yourself to have all the answers because it's really a journey and my purpose today of being an advocate and Helping families and empowering others that may not look the same the next year, love it. Be kind to yourself It's a process it it changes and evolves as we go Love it Thank you so much for being on Purpose Project. Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom with all of us. Thank you. This is a very cool project. It is, it makes you think. It, uh, it makes you, want to start thinking more about like, what else can I be doing with my purpose? And so this was a cool conversation. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. thank you, Janeva, for being on the show and thanks to all of you for tuning in. I hope that you're feeling as inspired as I am hearing from Janeva. There are two things that really stood out for me in this conversation. The first is how sometimes our life's purpose comes to us. in moments of our life. And sometimes those moments aren't moments of joy. I found myself reflecting on Janeva's story about how she left her job to take care of her mother when her mother was sick and how in that time of her life, that was her sole purpose to care for her mother. And sometimes our life's purpose isn't taking It's not big, broad impact, save the world. Sometimes our life's purpose shows up as responsibility, responsibility for people in our lives. And that was one of the things that just struck me in this conversation. The other is. Go do it. Even if you're scared, just go do it. I really felt the energy from that. I felt like, yes, I can do it even though I'm scared. I love that. And so thank you all for tuning in. Go do it. Go pursue your life's purpose. Even if you're scared, just go do it. Purpose project is brought to you for education and for entertainment purposes. This podcast is not intended to replace the advice that you would receive from a licensed therapist or doctor or any other qualified professional.